My husband and I have been married for 23 years without any serious problems. We’re done raising our kids and have the house and more time to ourselves, but I can’t seem to get my husband to show any romantic interest in me. It’s like we became roommates at some point. How do I get my husband to want me again?
– Lonely Wife
Dear Lonely Wife,
This seems to be a popular question that I get from readers on a fairly frequent basis, so at the very least, know that you’re not alone in this particular problem. I reached out to some of my married friends and asked them what they would do to catch their husband’s eye should the spark grow dull and here are some of their responses.
“Don’t Google it because then you all kinds of stupid advice. Sit down and chat with your hubby, tell him how you feel, ask him what he needs and make it super clear what you need!”
“Two words: sex toys. I’m not even kidding, my husband and I hit a dry spell that lasted, well, let’s just say it lasted a lot longer than I’ll admit for your blog, anyway, we went to dirty Dave’s and picked out a few crazy toys and went home and had a blast. Seriously, you should tell your reader to do this.”
“You know, we had the opposite problem, my husband was trying to get me to show more interest. He lost 25 pounds, quit spending every weekend parked in front of the game on TV, and that seemed to work for me. It was all about effort.”
“I don’t care what anyone says, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!”
(in response to stomach comment):
“That’s a load of crap. We’re not looking for a road map to the man’s heart, you gotta go more south.”
Ok, so my friends are no experts, but they are on to something. Seek out a conversation with your husband about what you both want, air any grievances that need to be resolved, and consider spicing things up in the boudoir.
Whatever you do, do with love, humor, and good intentions.
If you have a question for Dear Liz and her team of experts just drop us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.